“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all Wisdom.”(Prov. 1:7) Fearing God and not man is the only way to walk in His wisdom and truth. In this journey of life where the Lord does indeed give me more than I can handle I need His wisdom. That is why He gives me more than I can handle, because then and most often only then, I truly depend on Him and His Presence. Since, I am a rather stupid sheep I think I am smarter and wiser than I actually am. In situations where it seems like I should know what I am doing I take the reigns and end of messing it up. Turns out I am not God. In the midst of life that is too much, He is there. Being the Principal for even the short time I will be, is WAY more than I can handle. These last two and half weeks before Christmas break were the most intense weeks of my life. I felt more incapable, more inexperienced, more overwhelmed, yet in such a beautiful way I felt more loved, encouraged, and dependent on the LORD.
The more aware of my inadequacies I am, the more I lean into His strength and wisdom.
As I was talking through the weeks with a dear friend I said something that I hadn’t even realized was on my heart. I desperately want and need the Fear of the Lord to rule and reign over my every decision and not the fear of man. As the Principal there are lots of “men” to fear: my administrative team, other teachers and coworkers, and sadly the loudest my reputation with the students. At different times I have let the fear of these “men” rule and that of course causes guilt, insecurity, and really bad decisions. If I let the Fear of the Lord rule He promises to give Wisdom. As Proverbs says over and over again Wisdom is to be desired and the Fear of the Lord is the staring block. So, how does that look in my life right now? I am bombarded with issues, concerns, questions, and problems all day long. If I let the fear of man rule I will feel overwhelmed and become rather whiney. If I let the Fear of God rule I will search out that Peace that passes understanding and let His truth indwell in me and trust that He is bigger than my ability to screw things up! (I can’t tell you how many times I have been so thankful for that truth!) In the weightiness of what the Lord has called me to do, and the level of responsibility He has entrusted me with, I must fear Him alone! I must pursue His truth, His love, His peace with every breath. I have found that when I am entering a meeting that I feel ill equipped for I take a deep breath and put my shoulders back, like my momma taught me. 😉 I want that deep breath to be breathing in more of Him so my words would be filled with His presence. Oh, to be able to be an image bearer for Christ. I am not worthy, but He who is has called me His own. He is my only Hope. “The reward for Humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honor and Life” (Prov. 22:4)