It has been a year and a monthish since I moved back to America and needless to say that time feels warped. Time has moved achingly and annoyingly slow and at other times I have dragged my feet in hopes of slowing it down. Much has transpired and much is changed, but what are those changes and how do I see them? I know that some changes are physical, new home, new job, new city, new friends, but much more has changed internally in my heart and mind. I think it is hard to sometimes to see change until it is pointed out or really thought about. So, here I am thinking, and hoping to point it out.
Physical changes are easier to see, so I am going to start there:
-Literally, if you were to see me, not much as changed. As I look at my outfit today, everything that I am wearing I had a year ago…except for the sweet ring I have on, a girl has to get some new things. 😉
-New Job: When I first moved back, I had thoughts about what I might be doing and where I might be working. I knew the Lord had said not to pursue a classroom teaching position but I still tried. I am really slow. Obviously, nothing worked out so my intended “2 month break” turned into 5 and a half months. Months where I looked for jobs, but kept hearing “wait”. Months where people wondered, what on earth I was doing with my life and I asked the same thing and I still heard, “wait”. Weeks where I would questions God’s sovereignty, His Goodness, and His heart and still I heard, “wait”. During this waiting time, I kicked and screamed and pouted and basically acted like a 2 year-old, a poorly parented 2 year-old. How does God give grace upon grace to me when I act like I do…turns out He loves me. His Sovereignty is so great that it can only be seen as His favor. So great, that when I started looking into Grad school (because what else do people my age do when they don’t know what to do! 😉 ) and met with an admissions counselor from Northwestern College, he basically offered me a job. Now, he did not have that kind of power, but he opened the door and God pushed me through it! So, not only do I have a great job at a great University, I get to do my master’s at half price, since I work there! Point 85 million for God!
My life now is not what I expected it to be, but then I can’t really remember a time in my life that was “as expected”. That is one of the coolest parts about being God’s kid is that He consistently delivers much more than expected! I am working in a field that is outside of my degree but beautifully satisfying and challenging all at the same time. (Even though I work in a cubicle and let’s just all agree that they are terrible) Which I suppose is what this life is supposed to be like. And, I don’t think we can be truly satisfied without being challenged. Out of the ordinary, beyond the norm, outside of my comfort zone lays adventure! Oh Darling, let’s be Adventurers!
How have things changed spiritually over the past year?
- I feel more settled in who God is. The more times I prove him ‘ore and ‘ore that more I hope I will settle into his arms.
- America doesn’t seem like the worst place in the world. 😉
- My world has shrunk in unusual and beautiful ways
- God is building an even greater boldness in my character to trust Him for ALL that He is and ALL that He has for me. As the fabulous song says, “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders”
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you, Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” -Is. 26:3-4